Dear Queen of England,
Is it okay if I call you Liz? Or Elizabeth? On second thought, since I’m a good southern girl, I’ll stick to Queen. I know you are a busy
gal lady, but I have a quick question for you. Do you D.I.Y.? (That stands for Do It Yourself.) Ever? Of course. Silly me. You have people. Well, do your people D.I.Y.?
You see, I saw a simple, basic, jewelry cleaner (Sorry, but I don’t know who developed it.)on the internet, and I want to share it with you, with everyone I know, and even people I don’t know. Because even though you don’t have a clue who I am, I know who you are. And I have even been to your house (here and here) except you weren’t home.
But I digress…..This jewelry cleaner is so easy and cheap (I know you don’t have to be worried about the price of things because you have plenty of money), but some of us like to be frugal when we can. Anyway, this jewelry cleaner will make diamonds and gems and even pearls sparkle, and you have way more of those things than anyone I know. And since you really like
Kate Princess Catherine, I am sure you want to keep your jewelry looking as nice as possible for as long as possible so she can have it. (You can just by-pass Camilla.)
If you don’t mind, could you pass this simple potion along to your people for me? I don’t know how exactly to get in touch with them.
All they need to do is line the bottom of a little bowl with foil and then add 1 tablespoon of salt, 1 tablespoon of baking soda, 1 tablespoon of dish detergent and 1 cup of water. Gently stir it and then clean away.
Then you just toss in your jewelry for about 10 minutes, and it will come out sparkling. No, I don’t have a clue how it works, but I am assuming the foil must help it create some kind of a chemical reaction to help it become a determined yet gentle cleanser. And I know, Queen, that this amount won’t begin to clean all of your crown jewels, but isn’t one of your people an accountant? I’m sure he can figure out the proportions so that every karat of your collection can be as sparkly as anything in Tiffany’s window.
Oh, and before I close I just wanted to let you know that I will be returning to your fine kingdom (or should I call it queendom) in September. This time I will be doing a walking tour in the Cotswolds. Could you ask one of your people in charge of weather to guarantee pleasant sunny days for me? I would really appreciate it. If you would like to invite me for tea, I take two lumps.
P.S. And one last thing. If you don’t want to make your own jewelry cleaner we love this little machine to clean jewelry.
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